An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a
nursAn old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a
nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
NurseTracey asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracey,"
said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy,
she replied, "Oh! I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept
my condolences." The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down
the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met
Nurse Tracey. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking
down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your
pajamas." "But, Nurse Tracey," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you
yesterday that my private part died." "Yes, you did tell me that, but
why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracey.
"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."

ing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
NurseTracey asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse Tracey,"
said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad."
Knowing her patients wAn old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a
nursing

Hello VIRGIE  that was a good one" "     DISCOWILLIE>EST>IN>1978>>>>>>>>>>>GINOS CROWD<<<<<<<<<<<<your DISCO BROTHER<<<<<<<<<

A Mexican lady was walking along the bank of the L.A.River when she
stumbled upon an old empty cerveza bottle.
She picked it up, rubbed it, and SNAP!!!, a Genie appeared. She talked
with
him awhile then the Genie told her he would grant her ONE wish.
She said to the Genie, "I heard from mi prima that I could get three
wishes
if I ever found a Genie."
The Genie then said, "Oh no, sorry, esa. Three-wish genies are
story-tale
>myth.
I'm a ONE-WISH Genie, Uno, no mas! So...que quieres?"
The lady didn't hesitate. She said, "I want Peace in the Middle East.
See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other
and I
want all the Arabs to love Jews and Gringos
and I want all the Jews and Gringos to love the Arabs. It will bring
world
peace and harmony." she continued.
The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Orale! BE
REASONABLE!.....Those
fools have a pedo that goes back
thousands of years, chale! I'm out of shape after being in that bottle
for
five hundred years.
I'm good, but NOT THAT GOOD!!! I don't think it can be done.
PLEASE make another wish and please be reasonable."
The lady thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to
find
the right man. I want a Mexican boyfriend....
You know, one that DOESN'T DRINK ALCOHOL, nice y fun, likes cumbias, and
helps with cleaning la casa. I want him
to be great in bed and gets along con mi familia, and is FAITHFUL and
doesn't throw chingadasos at me.
That's what I wish for....a good Mexican man!"
The Genie let out a long sigh, shook his cabeza and said, "Chingada
vieja!!!......Let me see that pinche map again!"

~~~~Misunderstanding~~~~

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arm.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 0800.

The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.

When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmos all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmos. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. "I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday........

"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!